Today I have thought a lot about the implications of the word "evolution"... not in a biological sense but in a melodious poetic concept of the word. As humans, should we not be constantly adapting? The speedy and all-too unpredictable world around us changes every morning as we wake, so the trick to contentment may just be looking out your window and deciding that you will be a better person today than you were yesterday. Does this mean I should be unhappy with the person I am at this very moment? Under no circumstances. The Creator of who you are is looking at you and deeply smiling with every limb of his infinite being, delighted in even your most modest offerings to this Earth. However, I am so thankful for the opportunity to absorb every gift and deliciously new experience this beautiful world slips in my path and allow them to shape me into the Crosby I will become! So here I will provide a little road-map for the human characteristics I am so passionate about and am trying to consciously cultivate in my own life. Here are some things, a goal list if you will, for the kind of person I hope to be...
I want to be a reader. In conversation, when people or teachers bring up culturally famous books, books acclaimed for changing the way literature works… I want to be able to enter in. I want to absorb philosophy, Locke and Voltaire, and allow it to seep into the workings of my mind, and come away with insight into the way humanity perceives itself. I long to be enamored with Steinbeck, Salinger, Twain, Austen, Tolstoy… my list goes on and on. Poetry will not escape my ravenous eyes' view either… I so crave to be an expert of Tennyson and Wordsworth, absorbing their expertise into language's capacity to work the brain. Do I understand this daunting task may take a lifetime? Of course and I couldn't be more delighted.
I want to be honestly affectionate. I don't want to be the kind of person who avoids sharing the way they feel in a thinly veiled attempt at maintaining dignity. My friends and family consistently deserve to hear my words echo the profound impact each of them has on my life. I am making a pact to tell the people I love daily that they are wonderful and amazing and repeatedly change my life for the better. If I am feeling sentimental and think a particular person is spectacular on any given day, I want to forever be the kind of person and friend who will openly share this love.
I want to be a traveler of the world. Sometimes as Americans (shamefully, I share this blame) tend to see all human life through our own filter. We look at native Africans, for instance, and judge their civility through the eyes of "How close are they to being American?" I want to hop on a plane, abandon my preconceived notions of life, and travel all over Earth marveling at the world my Creator knit together. I long to go everywhere from London to the Congo to Patagonia in Chile and emerge more passionate for the causes of humanity, art, nature, and humility.
I want to be a connoisseur of art... art of all forms. When I look at Renoir's intricate painted canvases, I want to be able to understand his passion. When I see Banksy's politically fired graffiti on the walls of San Francisco, I want to be able to see the world through his eyes. I have such an appreciation for the complexity of the human mind, and I can't imagine a deeper insight into an intellectual's thought process than to see their weirdest visions cast onto a solid surface.. we're so lucky.
Most significant to my passion thirsty soul is my desire to draw nearer and nearer to this Jesus every day. The thought that there is an infinite being beyond my understanding, just beyond the edge of this universe is absolutely fascinating. The sensation of awe is perhaps the most magnificent to endure, and I find it amazing that I have an opportunity to communicate and love the one entity that promises me awe whenever I think of him. I want to be a human who spreads this fascination, who allows those around me to bask in the uncanny grace of God, a gentle, crazy thing that I can't even fathom. I can only hope to lead a life that will cause others to ponder, even once, the mystery and wonder that is my Savior. What an amazing privilege this life has given me.
